End of Bangkok Boy

© Laurent Pascuito

 "Someone looks like a hipster from New York," said Laurent as we walked to Benjakiti Park.

I'm bidding adieu to Bangkok. It was three weeks full of recklessness on my part. Too many midnights spent outside, too many cigarettes burned to their butts, too many joints of weed shared with strangers, too much alcohol percentage in my bloodstream, too many walks into the parks, too much noise in the hostel rooms, too many titties to witness, too many emotions to handle, too much food to munch, but... never enough love. 

I have never been this into life before. I was always very focused, determined, and cared about how I portrayed myself (at least this is a lie I told myself), 'being professional,' said Lolo. Only these three weeks I let myself so loose. Too loose that there were emails I ignored, texts I didn’t respond to, a journal I did not update, meetings I canceled, seminars I ditched, and so on. I was not working at all. Not even writing or fishing for ideas. I was just living. My writing project to write 'How to Kill Bangkok in Four Days' should have ended on the first day because I couldn't differentiate my left from my right hand for the rest of my stay. Bangkok affected me this way.

Maybe you're not comfortable or even scared to see how I lead my life. Well, let me tell you this: life doesn't only belong to you. Life belongs to me too. And I'm real. Not just a story. Maybe it is not comfortable to know, but life happens to all of us at the same time. And it's never the same. We are never in the same box. I'm out of it.

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I'd love to say to you guys who are working in the book industry, to have a look at us and give us some space too. Don't just speak up for people who live in luxurious condos, who can only eat in fancy restaurants, helping the rich get richer. There are stories about people who sleep in front of a mini market, selling themselves for some dollars. This story is not a fantasy. If you want diversity and greater sympathy, let their stories be known from their side too.

I'm not sorry for being who I am, and I will not change anything. Call me a madman. But a funny one.

Alright, that's all for now. See you, babies, in another adventure. Now, back to my small rented room in Tangerang!

Special thanks to all the hostel buddies, including an African lady who showed me her left boob, and a guy who was sniffing the toilet bowl. Thank you, thank you.