Wild Duck
Wild Duck (2020)
By Nuril Basri
I think it was a very lonely night. I was on that brown
couch in a backpackers' hostel not very far from the KL Sentral. It was during
that Kuala Lumpur international book fair that year my publisher invited me to
come. But the whole scene was very lonely for me. Not KL's fault nor my
publishers'. It is always lonely for me everywhere.
Fahmi—a sexy well-known writer in Malaysia—was on the
same couch. We just chillin like bros. Fahmi borrowed my phone, and he logged
in to my Grindr. I didn't do much on Grindr. I didn't know how to talk or
flirt. So Fahmi told me that he would do the job and let me see if he could
hook me up with someone.
"Looking
for true love in Grindr," he said with his rhotacism accent. Sounded
lovely to me.
So yeah, Fahmi was really great with pick-up lines such
as:
"Do you want to see my book collection? I got
plenty."
Or
"You. And me. In bed. Fucking…"
Reading, I mean, reading, not fucking.
Long story short, he showed me a pic of a guy which to my
standard was pretty good-looking.
"Did you really send him my picture?" I asked
Fahmi.
"Yes, darling," he said.
"So, he wants me?" with much disbelief.
"He's waiting with his butt spread in Hilton's bed,
only for you."
"Jeez," I said.
So yeah, Fahmi dressed me up, put some gel on my hair,
sprayed some perfume on my crumpled shirt, and he asked me whether I jacked off
that day in case I didn't have the stamina. And then he serenaded me at the
Hilton hotel that night. And before we parted ways, he hugged me like I was
going to go to war.
"Success," he patted my shoulder.
So, I was in that very clean Hilton's lobby waiting for
the Grindr guy to pick me up. He said he'd come fast to fetch me. So, I waited
and waited—the security men glancing at me again. I was not that filthy, but
perhaps not to their liking, and I was quite suspicious with my cargo shorts.
Someone finally approached me. "Let's go," he
said.
I was stunned for two seconds, but then I followed him.
His room was at the top of the hotel. Extremely posh. I
woah-ed, but didn't let it out of my mouth. I sat on the chair in the corner,
he sat on the bed, like Fahmi said, probably preparing his ass for me.
"I'm sorry I had to go," I said in an extremely
polite tone after three minutes of silence. Boy, was he curious. "I didn't
send the message; I mean in the Grindr. Sorry, it wasn't me who chatted with
you, it was my friend. Sorry if you think it was some sort of a prank. But I
promise it wasn't. Truth is I'm not really into sex, I don't think I can do
that, that kind of sex, I mean. I'm sorry, look at my hands they're actually
shaking. I'm trembling. I'm sorry, I have to go. My dick is shrinking now it's
terrified."
He tried to talk me into it. You know, seduced me to take
it easy, and he would lead, if I couldn't be the top, then he would be it, etc.,
but I wasn't really into it. Into him, honestly. So I just left the room and
took my way down. The lift took goddamn so long I almost kicked it. I heard
before I left he said it's fine, what I did to him was fine. He seemed that he
wasn't that hurt or angry, though. Maybe he got that a lot.
"Why you so fast?" Fahmi asked this back in the
hostel.
"I think I was being catfished," I said.
"That guy doesn't look like anything of his picture." I mean, I could
say bad things about the guy, I really wanted to, but I couldn't write them
here because people will mark me with a lot of bla bla bla phobic kind of
stuff. It was not as seen on
TV kind of stuff. It's more
like, this what you ordered
online, and that what came kind
of stuff. Just like Burger King ads as well.
I knew that guy lied to me, and I thought I had the right
to be angry, but boy, I was thinking about him desperately waiting for men to
come to his expensive lair and knew that if he didn't use the fake pic, he
wouldn't get laid at all. That was just very sad. It's already difficult to be
gay; it's harder if you're not given the advantages in the light.
Anyway, the night was getting darker, and I was in my
bunk bed already when my Grindr chimed. It was an invitation from a guy without
a picture. It was eleven PM. Probably I was sort of a big-time gambler or
probably just very curious.
He said, "Do you want to come?"
"Where to?" I asked.
He shared his location, so I checked. Boy, was that
another fancy apartment, pardon me but I forgot the name. But it was really
fancy by the pic. I Googled it.
"Nah, it's far enough," I said. I mean, I was
in the hostel in a room of 20 beds. There'd be plenty of stuff to see later
when boys back from partying. That's okay for me.
"I'll get you an Uber." He said.
I thought
for exactly two seconds and replied:
"Okay then. Can do."
That's a gentleman move, I thought. Felt like some kind
of damsel when my ride came.
I arrived at that exclusive apartment, and he was waiting
in the lobby. He looked at me from bottom to top.
"Come," he said casually. I could already see
his dick's line from the shorts he's wearing. Hot, I thought. There's silence
in the elevator. We didn't glance at each other.
"You surprised?" he asked as we entered his
unit.
"I'm sorry I'm not Malaysian," to clarify. So,
he must be some kind of hotshot here. Probably an actor or, from the look of
it, a news anchor in his 40s. He looked damn handsome and well-built as well.
Since I'm Indonesian, I didn't know much about the local celebrity.
"Let's do it on the sofa," he said.
"Cool," I said. He undressed first, leaving
only his brief. I started to undress as well.
"Fix your posture," he said.
"What?"
"Fix your posture, don't look like a hunchback, I
know you're not very confident," he said.
"Are we going to have sex or no?" I asked.
He then kissed me, it was very fast. I didn't remember
whether it's nice or not. He kissed me again. His lips were very symmetrical
they're looking really pretty. I touched the lips.
"Pinch my nipples," he said.
"Like this?" So, I did without questioning.
"Ah, nice." He said. "Don't
hesitate."
I was pinching his goddamn nipples for a few minutes I
got a sore thumb.
"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom," I said
politely. He then directed me.
Very funny I found so many scented essential oils on his cabinet,
I thought that was interesting. Maybe he's selling that stuff. I sniffed each
of them just to check. I did enjoy every of it and gave an opinion in my head.
But I didn't take my time though, I didn't want him to think I was doing my
shit.
As I passed the bedroom, I saw someone lying in bed in
the darkness, on his laptop.
Meanwhile,
that hot uncle was sitting on the sofa with a very odd thingy in his hand.
"There's someone there," I told him.
"A friend, that's why we couldn't use the bed. He's
visiting."
I shrugged it off. I thought that must be his boyfriend
or some sort.
"You into this?" he asked.
"What's that?"
"Ice, crystal meth."
By the look of his face, I thought he was ready to see my
judgment. But I never have seen meth close up before.
"I
don't want that," I said.
"You okay if I do this?" he asked.
I shrugged, "Whatever. I mean, yeah, whatever. Sure
if you want."
And then he started burning that thing through a
transparent pipe, I don't know what to call it. I just watched him very
closely. It's just like in the movies, I thought. Such a handsome face also.
"Pinch my nipples," he said again as he closed
his eyes and inhaling his ice as he meant it.
So, I did, I
pinched his nipples hard, and he enjoyed that so much he moaned like a cow, but
his dick didn't even hard, I saw that. That's quite anticlimactic, I thought. "You
a good person, you don't judge." He said.
"I do, in silent," I said. Boy, was he laughed,
then.
"Most people ran away after I showed them this. But
you, you're not."
"Yes," I said, as I was too lazy to think how
to respond.
And after one hour, I didn't really know where my fingers
were. I felt like some sort of a button operator, turning, pinching his goddamn
nipples for one fucking hour.
By almost at the end of the session, that guy from the
bedroom came out and we looked at each other. Jeez, was he young and extremely
attractive.
"Hi," he said as he made his way to the toilet.
My fingers
were still on hot uncle's nipples. This was very absurd. I liked it.
I thought the crystal's finished and the guy had enough.
"No
more?" I asked.
He shook his head. He then kissed me a bit.
"Come,
I'll check you." He said.
Boy, was I not prepared, but he came to me and suddenly
stood behind me, putting both his hands on my shoulder blade, pinched me to the
very bone. Then he moved his hand to my back to my spine to my chest, pinched
them as well, then to my head to the skull, and last he shoved his fingers to
my mouth to open it to check my teeth. Was this supposed to be sexual for him?
I thought curiously. Should I moan?
"You're in good shape and nothing is wrong with
you." He said. "You just are not confident. That's about your face.
Don't worry about the scar. You're a man. People ignore that. But fix your
posture. You'll be a better person. Don't hunch. You'll remember this, I know,
fix your posture."
I didn't know what he was actually doing or saying, but I
thanked him anyway. Maybe that's his way of returning favor.
"You call Uber for me again," I demanded this
time. He nodded.
That was a pleasant ride back to the hostel with the
Uber, the driver asked me whether I was a Pinoy, and he actually could smell
some kind of party soaring from my body. Probably he knew meth. So, I told him
I'm a wild duck and I do everything he can imagine.
Alright, the night didn't end then. Back in the hostel,
Fahmi was already gone; perhaps he got himself some hook up I didn't know. I
sat on the couch, and another message came in the app. Boy, was I exhausted,
but the curiosity ate me up. I had not had any sex yet, although it's not an
obligation. So, I opened it up, and read this sort of phrase:
"Where u?" he said.
"Hostel in Brickfields," I said.
"Meet?" he asked.
"Pic?" I asked.
He sent some. Another uncle in his forties. He looked
fine as well. He's in a suit. Yes, daddy.
But he didn't ask mine. Strange.
"Meet?" he asked again.
"Pick me up?" I asked.
"Yes."
He picked me up within 10 minutes.
The old Proton car he drove really amused me. It was past
midnight.
"To your place?" I asked.
"Let's eat," he said. We drove to the KL's
corner, where the Chinese food stall is. He ordered everything for me in
Mandarin.
"You no pork?" he guessed.
"Dick and pork are equally haram, I don't mind
having either of them in my mouth," I said. Too bad was he not impressed
with my humour.
He took out a piece of paper and a pen.
"Your
birth? Day, hour," he asked.
I told him unapologetically. Then he started counting
shit I didn't understand, running number with diagram.
"Your shio is ox. You gonna be great at selling
stuff. People will trust you. You have it in you. But you're no making money
till you forty. Be patient."
So, I thought maybe he's a psychic. Or that's just the
way some people do it on a date.
"I don't want to pay for this," I said.
"Free," he said as he gave me the paper full of
diagram.
I kept it in
my pocket.
After we have done with the food, he took me to his
place—which far out of KL, really. He lived in a nice apartment as well. He
told me to take a shower and change. He was clean as shit.
"Take these medicines," he said.
I was
cleaning my butt with a towel.
"What those?" I asked.
"Multivitamins." He gave me a bunch of them.
Each pill was so huge it could choke you. Wow, I've seen these shits in Oprah,
I thought. I took them all and gulped them without hesitation.
"Good boy," he said. "I sold them. If you
join my business, you'll make money. It's direct marketing."
"That's hot," I said.
"But you like writing, right? It fits you well,
you're an artistic person."
I looked at him, a bit impressed. And shrugged it.
Maybe he was really a psychic after all.
We then got
into bed and slept side to side. It was a comfortable bed. I could see his
picture hanging on the wall, he and his parents. There was no sex at all that
night, but I knew that his dick was hard all the time. And he snored loud as a
trombone, so I couldn't sleep at all.
There are more stories about this stuff up in my sleeves,
but I couldn't tell you now. Maybe some sort of later. Till then.
Your Adik.
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